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So I began interviewing young men - dozens, of different backgrounds, in their early teens and 20s - about sex and love, hookup culture and relationships, masculinity and media, sexual consent and misconduct. But four years ago, after publishing a book about the contradictions young women still face in their intimate encounters, I realized, perhaps inevitably, that if I truly wanted to promote safer, more enjoyable, more egalitarian sexual relationships among young people, I needed to have the other half of the conversation. As a journalist, I have spent over a quarter of a century chronicling girls’ lives - that has been my calling and my passion. Because, it’s like the girl is just there as a means for him to get off and a means for him to brag.” So to do that, you’re going to be dominating. As one high school junior explained: “Guys need to prove themselves to their guys. To make real change we need to tackle something larger and more systemic: the pervasive culture that urges boys toward disrespect and detachment in their intimate encounters.ĭespite a new imperative to be scrupulous about affirmative consent, young men are still subject to incessant messages that sexual conquest - being always down for sex, racking up their “body count,” regardless of how they or their partner may feel about it - remains the measure of a “real” man, and a reliable path to social status. Weinstein ends up with (fingers crossed) the longest prison sentence in history. But shining light on a problem won’t, in itself, solve it, not even if Mr.
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The #MeToo movement has exposed sexual misconduct, coercion and harassment across every sector of society. I thought about those boys this week as I watched Harvey Weinstein, in an Oscar-worthy performance of abject harmlessness, hobble on his walker into the New York Supreme Court in Manhattan. To put it in teenage parlance, they wanted to know whether it was truly possible to “hit it and quit it.” Strictly speaking, of course, even indifference is a feeling, but I knew what they meant: They wanted to know if they could have sex without caring: devoid of vulnerability, even with disregard for a partner. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.A while back, during a discussion I was having with a group of high school students about sexual ethics, a boy raised his hand to ask me, “Can you have sex without feelings?” The other guys in the room nodded, leaned forward, curious, maybe a little challenging. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers Other steps you can take to protect your children are: More information about the RTA Label and compatible services can be found here. Parental tools that are compatible with the RTA label will block access to this site. We use the "Restricted To Adults" (RTA) website label to better enable parental filtering. Protect your children from adult content and block access to this site by using parental controls. PARENTS, PLEASE BE ADVISED: If you are a parent, it is your responsibility to keep any age-restricted content from being displayed to your children or wards. Furthermore, you represent and warrant that you will not allow any minor access to this site or services. This website should only be accessed if you are at least 18 years old or of legal age to view such material in your local jurisdiction, whichever is greater. You are about to enter a website that contains explicit material (pornography).